Your Doctor, Your Choice: 8 Qualities of a Great Physician

These days it often seems like health insurance dictates everything. From what medication you can afford, which procedures you can have – where and when, and even your doctor! You may often find yourself choosing based on who is “in network.” This can leave you feeling stuck and without options. But you do have options! To get the most out of your healthcare, it is imperative that you and your doctor have a good relationship with a solid footing. I myself have found it difficult to meet a doctor who understands my goals and needs. Here are some foundational qualities to look for in a doctor.

Team Player

Old school doctoring was founded in paternalism: doctor tells patient what to do. A modern doctor-patient relationship is a partnership. It is a team. The foundation of the team is you and your doctor. The team can also include nurses, office staff, and consultants. You should search for a doctor who provides you with evidence-based recommendations, encourages you to make the final decision, and respects that decision.

Good Listener

An imperative component of a strong relationship of any kind is active listening. It is likely that you seek active listeners in your partner, friends, and family. Your doctor should be no different. Every patient has a unique story. This involves your symptoms and their evolution, your medical history, in addition to who you are as a person. You need a doctor who is going to fully engage in listening to who you are and what ails you. This will support a strong, trusting relationship that will help your doctor understand your medical needs better and help you find the treatment that best fits your distinct situation.

A Source of Approbation

Your feelings and experience are valid. You deserve a doctor who can validate your experience. If you do not feel like your doctor is taking you seriously and is not validating you, you may need to move on. This does not mean that a doctor will always agree with your assessment or the plan you want. They may want to talk to you about clarifying different aspects of what has happened to you. Nevertheless, each person’s experience should be affirmed in the process of determining the best course for diagnosis and treatment.

An Educator

A large part of being a doctor is educating patients. Doctors do not learn how to teach in medical school. It is learned often by observing others in clinical situations, taking ideas from those who do it well and remembering not to do things they did not like or that did not seem to work well. Then it takes a lot of practice to become a good physician teacher. Not all doctors excel at this. Search for a doctor who can speak to you on the level you need them to. We know people learn in many different styles. Therefore, your doctor should be able to morph and teach in the manner that best suits you. That may include information packets, videos, drawings, or simply talking. A doctor may not know which educational method to employ early on in your relationship. So do not be afraid to ask for information in a style that suits you best. A good doctor wants you to fully understand your disease process and treatment modalities. If they are not taking the time to educate you or if you continually feel like you cannot understand their teaching method, then they may not be the right fit.

Advocate

The healthcare system can be daunting. You deserve someone who is going to go to bat for you. This person can coordinate care, get you the referrals to subspecialists that you need, and help you feel heard and taken care of. You can read more about how we approach this role in our Physician Advocate overview.

Willing to Say “I don’t know”

Cockiness has no place in medicine. Do not confuse that with confidence. A confident doctor is imperative, but so is humility. Doctors study for decades to learn about their specialty and others. They continue to study and learn. However, no doctor can always know all aspects of each specialty. A doctor who is willing to step out of the room to do some investigating or call you back with more information is one you need.

Recommends Second Opinions

If your doctor is upset about you seeking a second opinion, that is a concerning red flag. It is important for you to feel assured in your decision making. Second opinions may affirm what your original doctor stated or may contradict it. In the latter case, you may even need a third opinion. As a physician, I always encourage patients to seek second opinions, especially when they are unsure of which treatment option best fits them or if they are feeling even slightly uneasy. I want my patients to feel comfortable with the information and treatment plans I have provided, and exceedingly comfortable with their plan going forward. If that takes them to another doctor for a second opinion, then that is the best outcome for both of us. I wrote more on this topic in Second Opinions: Don’t Stop At One, including when to seek one and what to ask.

Good Vibes Only

Finally, sometimes you just need to go based off of vibes. Everyone has intermittent bad days and can be deserving of second chances. However, if you are feeling that the two of you cannot create that partnership and team that is so important, then trust your instinct. Not every doctor and patient will have rapport together. That is okay on both ends. As a patient you have the right to not return to that doctor. Doctors also may tell a patient that they do not feel comfortable continuing care. You should not rely only on emotion, but if you have a good or a bad feeling, trust yourself to make that determination. If something feels off, it is likely that you will not trust that doctor going forward based on that sentiment. So it may be best to move on. Good vibes will only further solidify trust and partnership.

There are so many components of the doctor-patient relationship. That relationship can become quite multifaceted when complex medical issues arise. Utilize the aforementioned qualities as a guide to help you find the best fit. If this kind of doctor-patient partnership sounds like what you’re looking for, read about how concierge medicine supports it.