Are you thinking of becoming pregnant? That is so exciting! You need PRE Natal Care: Thinking through pregnancy and receiving care PRIOR to pregnancy. Common practice is seeing a physician when you are already pregnant. But for the best outcomes we suggest PRE Natal care.

Today we will introduce PRE Natal care and discuss three of its components.

Getting ready for pregnancy

You’ve decided to become pregnant; you are excited and nervous. What do you do now? You go see your OB Gyn for a PRE Natal visit (preconception counseling). At this visit your provider will review your health history such as your medications, past pregnancies, current birth control method, and your partners health history. You may be on medications that are toxic to your baby and need to be stopped prior to pregnancy. Some medical problems, such as high blood pressure, will need to be stabilized prior to pregnancy to reduce your risks of pregnancy complications. The provider will also discuss when to start your prenatal vitamins, educate you on conceiving and early pregnancy. This is a good opportunity to learn more about the facilities you will be delivering at if you choose to continue care at the same location as your preconception counseling. This can be very helpful if you have specific needs during your labor and delivery experience. Even better, it will get you to think about what you would like out of your pregnancy experience.

Getting your relationship ready for pregnancy

This step is often skipped! For you and your partner pregnancy and postpartum brings new challenges to your relationship. You will need to be more comfortable being uncomfortable. Taking the PRE Natal period to get your relationship ready for all the challenges of conception, pregnancy, and postpartum gives you the tools your family needs for the unexpected. It starts with asking each other questions. What are your expectations during pregnancy? What is important to you in pregnancy? What happens if we do not get pregnant on our own? How will we make decisions in our pregnancy? Who do you want at the hospital when you deliver? Many of these questions sound simple, but that’s why they need to be asked! These conversations will give you and your partner a platform and a voice in your relationship. We see too many couples putting themselves in difficult situations prior to having a solid line of communication and understanding of each other. Leave nothing up to assumption. If you want to exclusively breastfeed your baby, tell your partner and see how they feel about it. This eliminates assumptions and begins to allow you to write your story together. Have this discussion in the PRE Natal period and not after you are pregnant. Once you become pregnant, and once you deliver, these conversations will be put on the back burner and forgotten about. Do them in the PRE natal period.

Get prepared to be a parent

Parenting is the ultimate “letting go moment.” You have just lost control of a lot of controllables in your life when you have a baby. It’s a beautiful thing to give up so much for another! Many of us enter parenthood, expecting to be good at it; we believe our child’s destiny can be controlled by our parenting skills. The truth is somewhere in the middle, and it will take large amounts of effort to understand what is in your control as a parent and what is not.

You and your partner must prepare for parenting through deep conversations and self-work. Taking the PRE Natal period to work on yourself and your expectations will make you the parent you want to be.

Your current partner roles will change during pregnancy and when the baby arrives. Do you know what your new role is? Do you know what your partner’s role is? Do not wait until the baby is born to figure out what each of your roles are and how you are going to be a parent. Who’s going to clean the bottles at night? What does your partner do while you breast feed? Are you splitting the night shift? These small but very meaningful dynamics change your relationship drastically.

Take time to visualize how you see yourself being a parent. Dissect, in detail, the expectations you have on yourself. Discuss with your partner what you define as being a good parent. What would that look like? Now, the letting go moment; what would it look like if all your plans didn’t work? What do you control as a parent? What do you not control? These exercises will help start to bring light to what you and your partner’s future looks like.

These are just three components of PRE Natal care. You will NOT figure out everything before you are pregnant—it is the start of a lifetime conversation that is always open to change. We hope you take the time to self-reflect, discuss with your partner, and seek medical advice prior to becoming pregnant. We are always here for you! Second to None Health’s physicians are always available for your PRE Natal visit. There’s so much to discuss. We hope to see you soon.